On Your Own?
People are always encouraged to get involved in group activities, and being on your own can sometimes feel like a dirty word in today’s modern world, but it is impossible to be social all the time. In fact, there are many times when adhering to the schedules of other members of a crowd or club can actually be damaging to your own development.
A recent psychological study in the US claims that part of being happy and satisfied with modern life is exploring life on your own. In this article they look at a number of different activities you can perform on yourself and the effect they might have on your quality of life.
The activities mentioned in this article are generally solitary in nature. Shopping and exercise are two past-times that people often perform out of a need rather than a pleasure. Shopping can be relaxing and exercise can be stimulating but more often than not these specific behaviours are seen as utilities rather than luxuries. However, the article does look at attending groups on your own – however is this truly acting in a solitary fashion?
Gender is also omitted from the discussion. Often women who are with partners do not want to engage with women who are out on their own, as their behaviour can be seen as aggressive and questions are often asked as to why they are not accompanied by companions. This can make it more difficult for single women to meet people and approach couples for social contact.
Many single people like to go to the cinema on their own and already prefer the quieter times, as suggested by this article. It is often the case that people who are not with a partner will try to avoid situations and scenarios that are full of couples and attached people as this can make them feel lonelier.
However, activities on one’s own do not always have to be fun. It can be a little counterproductive to assert that all individual past-times need to have an element of carefree abandon to them. Some of our greatest life experiences come when we put ourselves into positions of difficulty that we find challenging or awkward.
The essential thing when it comes to looking at your own behaviours is ensuring that you are happy within yourself and your choices. There is nothing wrong with spending any time on your own doing whatever you like as long as this is a positive personal choice made for the right reasons.
CBT can help you look at your decisions and ensure you are doing everything from a strong and secure place. For instance, say you are deliberately isolating yourself from contact by taking lots of long walks in the hills, as you find social interaction quite an anxious process. If this is the case it might be best to find some way of deconstructing your existing beliefs without deeming your current behaviours as negative.
To find out how CBT can give you a chance to look at your behaviours and examine what you are getting out of life and if you’re truly enjoying and challenging yourself, why not give us a call? We can talk through your current situation and see if therapy could give you a boost in reaching your goals.